At one point in time, you will hear this – writers are weird.
Writers are weird because they talk to themselves. They create scenarios inside their head that play on their own and sometimes, they get out of control. We cry while we write. We laugh while we write. We curse and turn red when the writing gets down and dirty.
I acknowledge this part. This is me (I??) when the creative wind attacks.
I pity my husband for dealing with this but I think he has already mastered to just let the moment flow and leave me alone in my weirdness. He, for one, doesn’t not like to read literature. At least I know that now because when I met him, he said he was a big book guy and impressed me with a Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas. I didn’t know that it was one of the very few “legit” books he has read and in general, books to him meant comics. Sigh.
Anyway, back to my writing.
I don’t know if I am weird because I am a writer or I am a writer so that I can channel this weirdness.
I have been writing since I was four years old. My affair with words started when my parents laminated a printout of 100 difficult words that I needed to spell correctly (at four years old or five maybe) –
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Easy peasy. No need for autocorrect on that.
That laminate sealed my fate. As I fell in love with words, I read and read. But most of all, I wrote.
I was writing. Always writing.
Mama told me I used to write her hurtful letters asking me why she needed to work and that I didn’t her money; I needed a mom (ouch on that now)! My tita tells me how I always carried a pencil and paper wherever I went. I didn’t have lots of toys. But I had a Mongol and a duyan where I got lost in my thoughts and that was more than enough.
Since then, I never stopped writing. Wrote until I reached national writing competitions. Wrote until I became EIC in highschool. Wrote love notes, breakup notes… name it, I’ve probably written it.
But my writing has transcended into another level now that I am in my 30s. I want to write to change the world. Not a superhero kind of thing. Not that. Just you know, be a catalyst in the circles I move in through my writing. Whether it’s writing to spread awareness about APAS and autoimmune disorders or putting my faith in words, or lecturing about safe use of essential oils.
I have avoided to say this for the longest time because I always thought that I am not good enough. However, I realized that God gave me this talent for a reason. And this is how I will be a catalyst to the world – by being a writer.
And yes, I am.
When darkness visits
E’rething becomes clear
You can try to hide
But you can’t deny
The seed in your heart
That He has planted.
-balotdelrosario 120118
