Baby blues, baby blues. Why are you so real?
I don’t know about you, new mama (or in my case, second-time mama) but seriously, this post-partum blues is real! I’ve had it with Santi and a few weeks ago, with Lucia, too!
According to WebMD, “baby blues” usually peak around the fourth day and then ease up in less than 2 weeks. Some symptoms would include trouble sleeping, mood swings, tearfulness, anxiety, sadness, hopelessness, irritability and poor concentration.
In my case, my baby clues came with a lot of sadness.
This did not make sense because I have been waiting for my rainbow babies for a long time but you know, these hormonal imbalances after pregnancy just make you go cray-cray!
The funny thing is no one really tells you about the ugly side of being a mother to a newborn. Before I gave birth to Santi, I was soo agitated to be able to hold him in my arms. The nine months of carrying him and having to go through hyperemesis gravidarum and all my treatments for my repro-immune disorder>> were enough to want to get him out of my system fast so that he would finally be safer. Giving birth would also mean no more waddling for me and to be comfortable sleeping again!
I WAS SOOO WRONG! Little did I know that I would not have much sleep when the little booger comes!
But as they always say, it will all come to pass. And they did and my little Santiago is now a thriving toddler who brings so much happiness in our lives. I have completely forgotten how awful I felt during the first few weeks of his life, haha. Sorry, son!
With Lucia, I have learned some tricks to overcome the baby blues so I have coped much faster. Let me share them with you:
- Know that many mothers go through the baby blues like you do. It is completely normal. During my first pregnancy, no one really told me that it would be sooooo hard to take care of a newborn. Since I have waited for Santi for more than four years, I was more than ecstatic for his arrival. It felt terrible to acknowledge the feeling of depression right after I gave birth. How could I?? Here I was, finally blessed by God with a baby I have prayed for and all I could feel was resentment because he wouldn’t sleep and he would want to latch 24/7. Looking back, that resentment was probably just lack of sleep, or smelling like pastillas all the time (totally hated this) and the raging hormones but I wish someone told me that newborns are crraaazyyyy! With Lucia, my expectations were managed so it was not THAT bad.
- Stop pressuring yourself with how society wants you to take care of your child. Okay. Let’s talk about breastfeeding. Society puts way too much pressure on new moms – making them feel that it is breastfeeding way or none at all. I have seen in some forums about other mothers telling new moms that formula is poison or that they should stop working so that they can breastfeed their children. THIS IS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS. First off, while breastmilk is the best (I have bottle-fed Santi with my breastmilk for ten months), not all would be lucky to have enough supply. Many of THEM would say that this is not true and that you would always, ALWAYS have supply but I have seen firsthand experiences of mothers who don’t. So if you are having trouble with your milk supply, cut yourself some slack and do what you think is the next best thing for you and your baby. Aaaaand to those who are telling you to stop working because you will only have your child this small once in his/her life and that your only goal in life is to breastfeed your baby — please tell them to send you a check so that they can pay for whatever expenses you may have at home. Geez! (This really ticked me off because as a working mom, there is a reason why we work. No one should make us feel bad for choosing this path.)
Breathing in. Breathing out.
Going back to you, mama! Do what you think is best for you and your family – your sanity included. I am sure that you would not put your child in harm’s way so talk to your pediatrician instead on the options you have for you and your child’s well-being.
- Take a breather if you need to and have a little me-time. Nope, this is not being selfish. Having a new baby is hard work so pat yourself on the back and do something nice for yourself. Ask help from your partner or from family members so that you can have at least an hour on your own to do something else. In my case, this was either going out of the house, writing, and/or oiling. Last week, I promised myself to do something other than pumping, sleeping and taking care of the baby to slowly ease some normalcy in my daily grind and to battle the baby blues. So, I fixed my little corner, made some blends for the husband and Santi and fixed my essential oils arsenal. I also updated the blog and those activities actually made me feel great. Having these little accomplishments renew you so that you have a rejuvenated feeling once you go back to taking care of your baby again.
- Remember that the nights are long but the years are short. I want to share this video with you. This just makes me cry every effin’ time. When I feel frustrated, I just watch this video to remind me that their little quirks will soon pass and that I actually only have very few years of having needy babies.
So, mama to a newborn, if you are having a hard time, do holler! Let us talk and shower each other with positive vibes while taking care of our little ones.
Love,
