“When you are ill, do not delay, but pray to the Lord, and he will heal you. Give up your faults and direct your hands rightly, and cleanse your heart from all sin. Offer a sweet-smelling sacrifice… Then give the physician his place, for the Lord created him; do not let him leave you, for you need him. There may come a time when recovery lies in the hands of physicians, for they too pray to the Lord that He grant them success in diagnosis and in healing, for the sake of preserving life” (Sirach 38:9-14).
Saturday. Feb 15. (This is a back post as I could not write anything yesterday.) It was one of the darkest moments in my life. My head was pounding; my thoughts were reeling towards the worst. As my (our) condition has been explained a little more clearly, my heart could not help but to sink a little more. I hoped that I had listened more to my biology class so that I could understand what Dr. Carol Gloria, our newfound immunologist, was saying.
I have been mulling on how to cope with this. When I ask people or vice-versa, there is someone they know experiencing the same problems as I have. Given the limited information in the internet, I wonder if they are the same like me, searching for information, looking solace from people who can be beacons of inspiration. The only one I stumbled upon was this blog, www.infertilityphilippines.blogspot.com. She has not updated her blog since after she got pregnant in June 2013 so I mustered the courage to contact her. It was overwhelming when she replied and told me that she has not updated her blog because she’s so busy with her 8-month old angel! 🙂 I cried hearing that. There is hope. So much hope. Challenging but with hope.
I loved the parting words of my immunologist to my husband, “Start praying.” Somehow, I know that I am in good hands.
I don’t know how to move forward without the reassurance of my husband. He told me, “I married you, without a baby. Remember, in sickness and in health. In God’s time.”
These are the sources of my happy as of the moment. It is bittersweet. But I am sure it will all be worth it.
If you know anyone who is on the same boat and would like to get in touch and be a source of support, you can email me via email@example.com.
Babydust to those who need it. ❤️