Many people crave to be free from the shackles of the corporate world. A 9-6 job (which in reality is actually equivalent to 6-8 if you count your commute) can be pretty tiring. Office politics is a pain in the neck and the work just never ends (or so we make it).
But no matter what I do, I just can’t shake off this nagging feeling of breaking from my corporate hiatus and go back to climbing the corporate ladder. Again. The truth is, as much as I hate to admit it, I miss it all. I really am a workaholic. I love the rat race and it loved me.
I consider myself very lucky when it comes to my career. I rose from the ranks (as they say) in a considerably short amount of time and I loved what I did – as a management trainee to when I was a marketing assistant in URC to the time I was heading the camera marketing department of Canon and down to my last stint as the Corporate Communications Head. I really loved it. When you are paid to do what you love, luck seems to be on your side.
But priorities change. And when you have to choose between family and career, you don’t think twice about it, right? I made a hard decision because of the want to build a family. In the hopes that, you know, now that I am slowing down, I could finally have that little bundle of joy that we have been praying for.
And months passed by so quickly – six months to be exact and nothing is still happening and this impatient person begins to wonder. Oh yes, I know patience is a virtue but I am not a patient person. I admit that. Six months for an impatient person? I think that’s a long shot. Maybe I need the stress. I don’t know. Maybe I need the distraction of work so that I do not pore on the passing of hours every day. Gaahhhh!
It doesn’t help my plight that over the past few months, there were several headhunters who called me if I am interested to go back to corporate already. What a joke!
So as always, I have to attack this situation in the most rational way and here’s what I have come up with —
So to expound on my points –
1. Finances, benefits and all the works. A friend asked me, are you bordering on poverty lines already that you are itching to go to work? The answer is no. I am so blessed to have a husband who selflessly supports me, I have some copywriting and social media management gigs that I do from home. Don’t get me wrong. If I could get the salary I am getting when I was in corporate by just writing, I would totally just want to write all my life. But looking at it at a practical view, is it enough? For now, yes. But once we go through another set of immunotherapy sessions (in case I still won’t get pregnant before it expires by June), it’s another story. It is not cheap to be inflicted with this disorder. You have to prepare for it not only physically (which is the reason why I am at home now anyway), but also emotionally and financially.
2. Social Interaction. Look, I am an ENFJ. It has been six months of isolation and it is making me crazy. ENFJs are people-focused persons. More than the love I have for my job, I love working with my team and my colleagues. It is the social interaction that I miss the most. Some people would love to be left alone, but not me. Sighs. If only Sachi can talk.
3. Freedom. Perhaps the one thing that I love the most with my situation now is the freedom that it gives me. I can work whenever and wherever I want to as long as I am submitting what is needed of me. I don’t have to brave the horrible traffic every day and I have lull times to do the things I want like read a book or bake or play with Sachi.
So you see, it is a dilemma that I have not solved just yet. Do I close the doors on the opportunities that knock? Do I just create my own windows by looking for more clients, enjoy my freedom and endure the stillness of working at home?
Or maybe I should just sleep on it. Again. Until I am bothered to the brink again. So help me God.
x,
