To The Mama of an Angel

I know how hard yesterday was for you, Mama!

And I want to send you the tightest, warmest hugs of all time.

To say that I know what you feel will be an understatement. I may have been in that boat some time back but our pains are never really the same, are they?

I know you wished for Mother’s Day to pass by quietly.

It is a terrible feeling. To wish that someone would also send you their greetings on this day.

The World’s Best Mom.

You know you can be. You were just not given the chance to. Or at least, not yet.

I know people around you treaded the waters ever so carefully yesterday. Especially yesterday.

And you understand.

You understand that they cannot greet you a Happy Mother’s Day, even if you believe that being a mother is not just about physically holding your child but the love that occupies your heart for your angels in heaven.

And when someone else does (greet you), it would probably create a bittersweet feeling that would tie your stomach into knots knowing that you could do more than just love them – you could have sung them a lullaby or given them a warm bath or snuggled them in your loving arms until they cringe out of breath.

You lock yourself in the bathroom, turn on the shower and pray that hopefully the soft pitter-patter can take all the aches away – wash away the tears until there is none left. And after a good day’s cry, you dry yourself up, give a final snort and tell yourself that the war is not yet over. As a mother (yes, you are, my love), we should never give up even if we wanted to.

Yes, Mama. Never ever give up. Because being a mom entails a never-surrender attitude. For what example do we set to our children (or future rainbow babies) if we would?

So Mama, please…

Dust yourself off and hold that head up high.

More than anyone, you are strongest.

One, two, three failures will not define you. I have a friend who have had five miscarriages but held on – she now holds a beautiful baby in her arms. I have another friend who gave birth to a still baby, carried her child for nine months but had to see her lifeless when she came out. She also did not give up and today, she enjoys every moment with her rainbow child.

These are just few of the many miracles that can happen in your life today.

They say it doesn’t get easier, Mama. But every day… each day of not giving up will make you stronger.

And this story of yours in the making, is something which you will treasure for the rest of your life – to tell your future child (and children!) about unconditional love…

…and the rest of the world, of steadfast hope that only a mother, like you, can hold in that tremendously big heart of yours.

So today, Mama, let me greet you – Happy Mother’s Day!

Cheers to you,  a mother to an angel. 

Let me pray with and for you…

Psalm 139

1 You have searched me, Lord,

    and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;

    you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3You discern my going out and my lying down;

    you are familiar with all my ways.

4Before a word is on my tongue

    you, Lord, know it completely.

5You hem me in behind and before,

    and you lay your hand upon me.

6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

    too lofty for me to attain.

7Where can I go from your Spirit?

    Where can I flee from your presence?

8If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10even there your hand will guide me,

    your right hand will hold me fast.

11If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

    and the light become night around me,”

12even the darkness will not be dark to you;

    the night will shine like the day,

    for darkness is as light to you.

13For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

15My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16Your eyes saw my unformed body;

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be.

17How precious to me are your thoughts, God!

    How vast is the sum of them!

18Were I to count them,

    they would outnumber the grains of sand—

    when I awake, I am still with you.

3 Responses to “To The Mama of an Angel

  • I am not an APAS but i share your sentiments…my baby Jyeshwa who is 3 months old now is a miracle baby…9 years ago i was diagnosed with a chronic kidney disease and due to the intensive medication to keep my body and immune system stable i was advise that it is no longer possible for me to have baby..if in case ill be able to concieve the baby will not survive and if in case the baby will survive the possibility of birth defects is high…aside from my kidney disease, my uterus and fallopian tubes are problematic in fact i undergone emergency surgery last 2015 to remove my left fallopian tube due to mass and upon exploratory check up the ob again confirmed that it is not possible for me to concieve my remaining right fallopian tube cannot transport fertilize egg coz its coiled…during that time i felt that my life has no direction that i am just working earning 5 digits just to support my lifetime medical needs…just then came June 2017 a miracle happened…i became pregnant and as in “THE STRUGGLE IS REAL”…only God knows the ordeals i faced just to keep the baby alive…the needles, the monitorings of my hemoglobin, creatinine, urine protein, blood pressure etc etc…i also gave up my job coz my nephro and pulmo docs told me that my pregnancy is high risk if i want to keep the baby then i should make a lot of sacrifices…well then on the big day after 13 hours of active labor without development with the advise of my IM and Nephro docs to my OB my baby boy was delivered thru emergency/stat cs…Upon seeing my son my tears fell and i said to myself its all worth it…my pocket is empty right now but my heart is full of happiness …i may be in debt right now but all my sacrifices, all my sleepless nights, the pains were all paid off…surely God is really good…surely good things happens to those who wait

    • balotdelrosario
      5 months ago

      Wonderful story, mommy! Yes, all in God’s perfect time. <3

  • My loving angel’s..

    Walang araw na hindi ko kayo naiisip. Panahon na lumilipas pero para kay mama parang kahapon lang nangyare ang lahat.
    Yung sakit na hindi nawawala sa puso ni mama at pag kalungkot na “sana nayakap kita anak”.

    Hindi ako sumusuko pero yakapin nyo ko mga anak ko pag akoy lumuluha. Kasama nyo na c God at pati ang mga angel na kalaro nyo.

    Malungkot ba kayo dyan? Hindi ba kayo nasusugatan diyan? Sana nandyan ang mama para mayakap at maalay ko panahon at oras ko.

    Pag nakita nyo c God ibulong nyo sa kanya na ibigay nya sa akin ang kapatid nyo na makakasama ko pag tanda at papaalala ko sa kanya na meron syang kapatid na isang angel.

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