Pain, Stitches and Burns

Stitches and BurnsI maybe a masochist but that is fine; because I know what kind of pain can kill me. You however, are a sadist. You keep on hurting me — and you are breaking me into pieces.

 
People have different propensity to pain – physical or emotional. I consider myself at the higher tolerance level of this grid. So when I begin to cocoon myself, you have really hurt me good.
 
However, there are also two kinds of people – the people who hurt you but they do not matter and the others who do. For the first type, I usually just shrug them off. They are not worth my time anyway. The second one is the hardest to ignore – people who matter – close friends, family, loved ones. It is hard to ignore because of the deposits you have invested in the emotional bank account. Yet, they keep on taking you for granted and depleting whatever “emotional funds” you have put in.
 
No one is perfect. Even I have my own share of both intentional and accidental grievances. However, when epiphany comes, I DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Because at the end of the day, I do not want to hurt the people who are important to me.
 
It is disappointing to be in a situation where you expect people to do the same. A mentor told me once that disappointment arises from not properly communicating your expectations. It was hard for me to accept that because I believe that each one of us is equipped with common sense. How hard is it to realize that you are clearly stepping on someone else? How hard is it to realize that you are hurting someone?
 
I only have one clear answer in my head and this has been said to me by a good friend – willingness. People hurt someone else because they are not willing to do anything to change a situation which causes the pain. I hold on to those words.
 
Bo Sanchez, in one of his preaching at the Feast sounded something like this: “Let nothing affect you especially if they are not under your circle of influence. When people or situations keep on hurting you or bringing you down, maybe they are not meant to be in your life. The power to change your life is in your hands. The power to run away from these negative elements is within you. You just have to have COURAGE.”
 
We do not have the power to control what people should do. We do not have the power to make people like us. But we always have the power to walk away.
 
I would like to end this note with a prayer –
 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference. 


Ciao!

The Happiness Project

“A happiness project is an approach to changing your life.” -The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin

The Happiness Project

A month ago, I read this book from Regina Brett about Life’s Little Detours and Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. The books talked about finding and holding on to happiness. No, I am not here to talk philosophically what happiness is all about or preach happiness is a choice or what-not. What I really want to share is this longing I have to improve my perspective in life. 
 
I have always been a happy person. Internally, that is. I seem all grunge and angst outside but generally, I have always been happy. I am happy with everything that has turned out in every aspect of my life – work, love, family, friends. 
 
So why engage myself on this happiness project

Because I think there can still be so much more to happiness. Not the kind of happiness that just dawns on you when you think about your life in a general way. What I mean is that kind of happiness that envelops you every single day. 
 
Lifting from Rubin’s book, she underlined her twelve commandments, the overarching principles that she should follow. I think this list keeps everything on track and removes the nuances of unimportant things, or feelings or what-ever.
 
My Twelve Commandments 
 
1. Do it now. Oh yes, my procrastination is ALMOST always a source of stress. Yep, striking out this bad habit starting now.
2. Learn to shut up. Hold that bad thought. And those bad words. Stop babbling and keep it to yourself.
3. Stop overreacting. Identify the problem. Dissect. There is always a solution.
4. Love. And remember why you loved in the very first place. 
5. Spend time with people. No matter how anti-social I should feel that day, always, always spend time with friends and family and loved ones.
6. Stop worrying. God knows best. People who love you will always understand. 
7. Read. And write. And sing. And dance. These things make me happy. All the time. So don’t miss a month not doing any of these. 
8. Pray and find inner peace. Meditate. Go to Church. Read about life’s little miracles and acknowledge that there is always a Higher Being. I have proven that a lot of times. 
9. Sharpen the Saw. Shop. Spa. Salon. Movie Marathons. It’s you working and doing all these things so it’s you you should never forget to take care of. 
10. Choose your battles. Learn when to fight and when to give up. There is always tomorrow. And tomorrow is another day of battle. I learned this from The Art of War.
11. Learn like a sponge. There is no special time to learn. Every day is. Learn, make mistakes. Do better the next time.
12. Be Balot. This I got from my favorite poetry, Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. Noone can be me. And I don’t even have to worry if you like me or not. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. 
 
Whew! That was tough. So let it be known how my commandments look like. I should be doing my resolutions first to materialize my Happiness Project but as of the moment, I have done already what I think is the hardest. My guiding principles. 
 
With that, I aim to close this little sharing of mine. Need to doze off for another beautiful day tomorrow. Good night everybody.